Your Complete Guide to Step 9

If you’re wondering which step in AA is making amends, the answer is Step 9 of the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. This crucial step in the recovery journey reads:

“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”

Step 9 represents a watershed moment in addiction recovery. For many AA members, this step is both the most challenging and the most rewarding part of their recovery program. It’s where the work of the previous steps comes together, allowing you to take concrete action toward healing relationships damaged during active addiction.

After creating the list of persons in step 8, we are ready to proceed to step 9. This Step 9 guide will explore everything you need to know about Step 9, from understanding its purpose to learning practical ways to make meaningful amends as part of your recovery journey.

Understanding Step 9 of Alcoholics Anonymous

Step 9 of AA is the culmination of the previous steps in the 12-step program. Before reaching this point, you’ve completed a fearless moral inventory in Step 4, admitted your wrongs in Step 5, and created a list of all persons you’ve harmed in Step 8.

Now, with Step 9, you actively begin making amends to those hurt by your substance use disorder. This work began back in Step 4. This isn’t a simple apology. Making amends means taking full responsibility for your past actions and wrongdoings, and doing everything possible to rectify the situation.

The disease of addiction causes people with substance abuse problems to hurt family members, friends, and others. During active addiction, past behaviors cause significant harm to healthy relationships. Step 9 provides a pathway to repair that damage and rebuild trust.

This step is part of the recovery process leading to a spiritual awakening. It requires courage to face those you’ve harmed and acknowledge the negative impact your addiction had on their lives. The healing process that unfolds through making amends benefits both you and those you’ve hurt.

Why Making Amends Matters in Your Recovery Journey

Making amends is critical for long-term recovery from alcohol addiction or drug abuse. Carrying guilt, shame, and remorse from past mistakes can threaten your sobriety and increase relapse risk. Step 9 helps you break free from these chains.

Research indicates that making amends yields significant psychological benefits for both parties. A University of Miami study demonstrated that conciliatory gestures have positive effects on emotional well-being. When you take responsibility for past actions, you help heal others while experiencing personal growth and inner peace.

The recovery journey isn’t just about abstaining from substance use. It’s about fundamentally changing who you are. Step 9 teaches you to take responsibility for your shortcomings and demonstrates your commitment to living differently. This transformation strengthens your support system and helps maintain your sober lifestyle.

Working with your AA sponsor and other AA members during this difficult process provides essential emotional support. Your sponsor guides you through the step work and helps determine the best approach for each person on your list.

How to Complete Step 9: Types of Amends

Before you begin making amends, you need to have completed Step 8, which involves creating a list of people you’ve harmed. Your AA sponsor will help you review this list of persons and determine the specific actions needed for each situation.

Direct Amends

Direct amends, also known as face-to-face amends, involve personally confronting the person you’ve wronged. This is the primary goal of Step 9 and should be done whenever possible. Direct amends typically involve meeting face-to-face, offering a heartfelt apology, acknowledging the harm caused, listening without arguing, asking what you can do to make things right, and taking concrete steps, such as paying back money or replacing damaged items.

When making direct amends, good judgment is essential. Approach conversations with humility and a sincere apology. Be specific about what you did wrong, and demonstrate through your actions that you’re committed to change. Talk about your recovery program and the steps you’ve taken, such as working with an AA sponsor.

Indirect Amends

Sometimes direct amends aren’t possible or could cause further harm. Indirect amends involve making reparations through actions rather than direct contact, such as volunteering, becoming an AA sponsor, donating to causes supporting those affected by substance use disorders, or making positive changes in how you treat others.

Living Amends

Living amends means demonstrating changed behavior over time. Rather than a one-time conversation, living amends involve consistently doing the right thing and striving to be a better person each day. This is particularly important when past wrongdoings can’t be fully repaired through a single action.

When NOT to Make Amends

Step 9 includes an important caveat: “except when to do so would injure them or others.” Making amends should never cause significant harm to others or yourself.

Avoid making direct amends when the person is unaware of the wrongdoing and telling them would cause pain, when it could harm third parties, when contact could risk physical or emotional harm, when the person has requested not to be contacted, or when it could trigger someone else’s relapse.

Your AA sponsor helps you navigate these complex situations, examining your motives and determining whether making amends serves the recovery process or could create further harm. As AA’s Big Book states, “We cannot buy our own peace of mind at the expense of others.” The person’s response and well-being must be carefully considered.

Tips for Making Amends Successfully

Completing Step 9 requires careful preparation and the right attitude. Here are essential tips:

Take Your Time: Don’t rush; take it at your own pace. Each person deserves a thoughtful, sincere effort. Meet with your AA sponsor to discuss your approach for every person.

Be Specific: Avoid vague apologies. Be clear about what you did wrong and acknowledge the specific harm caused. This indicates that you’ve completed the work in your personal inventory and understand the impact of your actions.

Listen Without Defending: Be prepared to hear how past behaviors affected others. Accept their feelings without arguing or making excuses.

Accept Any Response: The person may not be ready to forgive you. Remember that making amends is about taking responsibility for your defects of character and clearing your side of the street, regardless of their response.

Demonstrate Real Change: Actions speak louder than words. Show through continued sobriety and changed behavior that your amends are genuine. Attend support groups, work your recovery program, and maintain conscious contact with your higher power.

Get Support: Lean on your support system throughout this process. Attend 12-step groups, connect with AA members, and consider outpatient treatment if needed.

Moving Forward After Making Amends

After completing Step 9, you’ll continue to Step 10, where you’ll take ongoing personal inventory and promptly admit when you’re wrong. The skills you develop in Step 9, humility, honesty, and accountability, become part of how you live each day.

Making amends isn’t a one-time event but an ongoing commitment to living differently. It’s a crucial part of the Twelve Traditions and Twelve Steps that guide the anonymous program. As you complete this step work, relationships begin to heal, and you’ll experience freedom from guilt and shame.

Conclusion: The Power of Step 9 in Addiction Recovery

So, what step in AA is making amends? Step 9 of Alcoholics Anonymous is where you make direct amends to those you’ve harmed, taking action to repair damage caused by substance abuse. This step is a powerful catalyst for healing, personal growth, and lasting recovery.

Whether working through a 12-step program in a treatment program, an intensive outpatient program, or attending AA meetings, Step 9 represents a significant turning point. It’s where you take full responsibility for past actions and commit to being a better person.

If you’re ready to work Step 9, connect with your AA sponsor, reach out to your support system, and remember you’re not alone. Thousands in recovery have walked this path and found freedom on the other side.

The healing process begins when you have the courage to make amends and do what is right. Your recovery journey continues, one day at a time.