The 9th Step Promises are some of the best-known promises in Alcoholics Anonymous. They appear in the Big Book after the discussion of making amends.
For those of us new to AA, promises like “a new freedom and a new happiness” can sound hard to believe. After years of drinking and dealing with the consequences, it can be difficult to imagine life changing that much.
The promises are not about having a perfect life. They describe some of the changes that can happen as we work the Steps, make amends, and continue practicing the principles of AA.
Here is what the 9th Step Promises mean in recovery.
Where the Ninth Step Promises Come From in the Big Book
The Ninth Step Promises appear on pages 83 and 84 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, in the chapter “Into Action.”
They are sometimes called the “extravagant promises.” They describe changes that can happen as we work the program and begin living differently.
Although they are called the 9th Step Promises, they are not limited to making amends. They are connected to the larger process of recovery and the work of the Twelve Steps.
1. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through.
This promise is about seeing changes sooner than we expected. As we work the Steps and start living differently, we may begin to notice changes in our thinking, relationships, and reactions. Things that once seemed impossible can start becoming part of everyday life.
2. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
Freedom in recovery is about more than not drinking. We begin to get freedom from the obsession, fear, and chaos that came with our old way of living. Happiness does not mean every day is easy. It means we can experience life without always needing to escape from it.
3. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
Most of us in recovery have things in our past we would rather forget. The Steps give us a way to face those things honestly instead of running from them. Making amends helps us take responsibility for what we did, learn from it, and move forward without being consumed by regret.
4. We will comprehend the word Serenity, and we will know peace.
Serenity does not mean that everything in life goes the way we want. It means learning to accept what we cannot change and taking responsibility for what we can. In recovery, that can bring a kind of peace that was difficult to imagine when drinking was running our lives.
5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
The things we regret most can eventually become part of how we help another alcoholic. We know what it is like to struggle because we have been there. Sharing our experience can give someone else hope that they are not alone and that recovery is possible.
6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
Drinking can leave us feeling isolated, ashamed, and stuck in our own problems. Recovery gives us opportunities to be useful. Helping another person, showing up for a meeting, or simply being there for someone who is struggling can get us out of our own heads and give life greater purpose.
7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
As we work the program, we can become less focused on getting our own way and more interested in other people. We learn to listen, help, and consider how our actions affect others. That change does not happen overnight, but it can become a natural part of living sober.
8. Self-seeking will slip away.
Self-seeking is the constant effort to get what we want, protect ourselves, or control the outcome. Recovery teaches us to pause and consider what the right thing to do is instead. We still have selfish thoughts, but we become more willing to recognize them and act differently.
9. Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change.
One of the biggest changes in recovery is learning to look at life differently. Problems that once seemed like reasons to drink become things we can deal with. We begin taking responsibility instead of blaming everyone else, and we learn that a difficult day does not have to turn into a disaster.
10. Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us.
Fear can control our lives. We can worry about what people think, whether someone is angry with us, or whether we will have enough money. As we become more honest, make amends, and learn to deal with problems as they come, those fears can begin to lose their hold.
11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
This does not mean we suddenly know what to do in every situation. It means our responses begin to change. Instead of reacting the way we always did, we may pause, ask for guidance, admit when we are wrong, and try to make things right. With practice, those responses can become more natural.
12. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
For many of us in AA, recovery becomes about more than simply staying away from alcohol. It becomes a relationship with a Higher Power and a different way of living. Over time, we may look at our lives and realize we can do things we could never do on our own.
Step 9 and the Process of Making Amends
The Ninth Step says:
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Making amends means taking responsibility for the harm we caused and doing what we can to make things right.
Sometimes that means talking directly to someone and acknowledging what we did. In other situations, a direct amend could cause more harm, so we need a different approach.
An amend is also more than simply saying “I’m sorry.” When possible, we take action to correct the damage and change the behavior that caused it.
The goal is not to make someone forgive us or to control how they respond. We are responsible for our side of the street.
Why the 8th Step Comes First
The 8th Step prepares us for the Ninth Step.
Step 8 asks us to list the people we have harmed and become willing to make amends.
That list comes from the honest work we have already done in the program. By the time we reach Step 9, we have started taking a hard look at our behavior and the harm we caused.
Step 8 gives us the willingness. Step 9 puts that willingness into action.
In Conclusion
The 9th Step Promises describe some of the changes that can happen when we work the Twelve Steps and continue practicing the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous.
We may experience a new freedom and happiness. We may find more peace, become less controlled by fear and self-centeredness, and learn how to handle situations that once seemed impossible.
Life does not become perfect because we get sober.
But we can learn to live it differently.
For many people, that is when the 9th Step Promises stop sounding like promises and start becoming our experience.