8th Step Worksheet
Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
The Big Book states, “Now we need more action, without which we find that ‘Fath without works is dead.'” That’s a pretty strong sentiment.
The AA 12 x 12 says, “Steps eight and nine are concerned with personal relations.” These steps help us heal our past relationships. By looking backward, we can move forward.
We are going to learn to live daily life with new attitudes and learn about ourselves and our higher powers. With this knowledge and awareness of how our actions affect others, we learn to live peacefully within our homes and society. Some call this new adventure a spiritual awakening. As addicts and alcoholics, we may have stunted intellectual growth. We have to learn how to live with others. The steps of Alcoholics Anonymous do just that.
A Thorough Fourth Step
Step 8 calls on us to build awareness, and learn a new level of honesty. If you did a thorough fearless moral inventory 4th step with your sponsor or trusted friend, issues may have arisen during that survey of character defects. If you did not do a thorough 4th step, you’ll make little headway with steps 8 and 9. Go back to the 4th step and work on it again.
Once we are sure we have a thorough list of people, we can move onto the next step of step 8.
What is a Character Defect?
Character defects, or shortcomings, refer to any personal traits or behaviors that can negatively impact one’s life and personal relationships. Negative influences during active addiction, such as greed, can significantly shape the way you live, leading to recurring patterns of detrimental behavior. For instance, responding with anger can lead to unconstructive reactions to life’s challenges, such as turning to substances to cope with feelings of intense frustration toward others. Recognizing and acknowledging signs of imperfection in your own life can serve as a clarifying agent, pinpointing areas where you may have faltered and shedding light on the necessary actions to bring about personal growth and positive change.
Who Did We Harm With Our Shortcomings?
With previous steps, such as the fifth step, we learned about our defects of character as we discussed our fourth step with our sponsor or trusted friend. In step six, we became entirely ready for our Higher Power to remove these defects. In step 7, we asked our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings (character defects). And now, in step 8, we make a list of the people we have harmed from our fourth step.
Adding to the List
Using your fourth-step work or your personal inventory, create a new column and call it character defects. We are making a list of such people we harmed with our actions. This is the first part of this step. You will work to clear away the wreckage of your past and make appropriate amends with an unsparing survey of the human wreckage left behind by character defects.
A List of Shortcomings
The article “12-Step Tips for Identifying Character Defects” is a great resource for identifying character defects. Read it while you are working on Step 8.
Some examples of defects of character:
- Lying
- Manipulation
- Gossiper
- Thief
- Unfaithfulness
- Physical violence
- Emotional abuse
- Causing death
- Drunk driving
Seek the help of a sponsor or trusted friend when thinking about making amends. Remember, they have done this and can guide you on the exact nature of your wrongs.
Deep and Honest Search for Motives and Actions
When making direct amends, we must examine our motives and actions. Talk with your sponsor or a trusted friend and review what you will say to each person with whom you will make amends. This step is a must for long-term sobriety. It’s not wise to make amends without reviewing what you will say to someone else.
The words of the pre-8th step prayer before you begin to list character defects and harms done:
“God, Please remove my Fears and show me your truth. Show me all the harm I have caused with my behavior, and help me be willing to make amends to one and all. Help me to be willing to go to any lengths for victory over alcohol.”
Look back at the list again and consider that there is somebody you left out. The step says, “all people we had harmed.” Yes, we have now moved away from the bondage of self but think about this – by calling on our higher power, by pursuing this 12-step program, right from the first step we have started to make amends to ourselves as well.
Reviewing the List and What to Say
We may have some trepidation to making amends. In step 8, concentrate on what you would say if you made amends. Try to stay in the moment. Pray daily during the eighth step. Remember, we are under the care of God, or our Higher Power, as we are on this road of spiritual progress. Forgiving others is difficult. We can remember this when we are approaching those we harmed.
Review your list to correct mistakes and past actions. Go through and pause at each person’s or institutions name and say, “Am I willing to do what ever each person or institution might ask to right the wrongs?” Again, with your sponsor or trusted friend, what to say to each person. Step 9’s purpose of making amends is to, “Fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us.” AA Big Book pg. 77 Third Edition
We want to ensure we approach those on our list with the right attitude. We ask our Higher Power for guidance of correct thought.
Gifts of Step 8 and 9
The eighth step gives of the gift of removing our fear of people. For the first time, we are building awareness. We end wishful thinking that we did nothing to harm others.
In truth, we are going to continue to harm others. Making lists of those we harmed, our actions, and how we can make it right is an ongoing process of daily life. Daily prayer and daily spot check inventories in the future will guide us keeping our side of the street clean. As a result, we will no longer long for selfish things. Our addictive behaviors begin to fade. Our mental health improves as we gain a clear mind.
To live in society, it is important to learn personal responsibility. Living this way gives us the greatest peace and is the best way to remain sober. We gain a decent dose of authentic love and understand the true meaning of powerlessness when working the steps.
Conclusion
AA participants around the world have completed steps 8 and 9. Although it can seem like it’s going to kill us, it doesn’t. We are all better people on the other side of making amends. What are the effects of doing this step well? We fulfill the most important purpose of this AA step: preparing for positive action. We bring ourselves further under the care of our Higher Power, and we begin to experience true spiritual progress.
Another surprise comes when we do this step. We may realize that there are people we need to forgive as well, and often, because of the hurt and anger that led us to the place where we need to forgive, we also need their forgiveness. It can be a definite two-way street.