The third step prayer in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous has guided countless individuals through a pivotal moment in their steps of recovery. Yet for many people working the program, the traditional wording doesn’t quite resonate. Whether you’re agnostic, atheist, struggling with a different concept of god, or simply seeking a new way to express your commitment to recovery, alternative versions of the 3rd step prayer can be just as powerful and transformative.
The beauty of recovery lies in making it personal. Your journey doesn’t have to follow the exact path laid out in 1939. What matters most is your willingness to move beyond the bondage of self and embrace a life of conscious contact with principles that support your sobriety.
Understanding the Traditional Third Step Prayer
The original prayer from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous reads:
“God, I offer myself to Thee, to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!”
This prayer follows the third step itself: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
For many, in their first time working, the previous steps, this language feels comfortable and right. For others, the theistic language presents a significant barrier to accessing the spiritual principles underlying the entire life transformation that recovery offers.
Why Seek Alternative Third Step Prayers?
People seek alternatives for many valid reasons:
Different Spiritual Beliefs: Not everyone in recovery identifies as Christian or holds a theistic belief. Agnostics, atheists, Buddhists, and people of various faiths attend Anonymous meetings seeking freedom from alcohol addiction and other substances.
Trauma from Religious Institutions: Some individuals carry wounds from religious communities that make traditional prayer language triggering rather than healing.
Non-Alcoholic Recovery: While AA was designed for alcoholics, many other twelve-step programs use the same steps. Those in recovery from other issues may need a different language.
Personal Growth: Sometimes we simply need fresh perspectives. What worked at one time of acceptance in our recovery may need updating as we grow and change in daily life.
Intellectual Honesty: For many, recovery requires rigorous honesty in all areas, including spiritual language. If the words don’t match your beliefs, saying them can feel dishonest, which itself becomes a barrier to the conscious decision that Step Three requires.
The Principle Behind the Prayer
Before exploring alternatives, it’s worth understanding what the third step prayer actually accomplishes. At its core, this prayer represents:
- Releasing self-will: Acknowledging that your best thinking got you into active addiction
- Opening to guidance: Whether from a higher power, spiritual principles, or the collective wisdom of recovery
- Commitment to service: Moving from self-obsession to helping others
- Willingness to change: Accepting that your old ways weren’t working
- Humility: Recognizing you can’t do this alone
Any alternative version should capture these spiritual principles while using language that resonates with your personal beliefs and understanding.
A Collection of Alternative Third Step Prayers
Dr. Bob’s Version
One of AA’s co-founders, Dr. Bob, used his own words. This version appears in different sources and emphasizes humility and surrender:
“Dear God, I’m sorry about the mess I’ve made of my life. I want to turn away from all the wrong things I’ve ever done and all the wrong things I’ve ever been. Please forgive me for it all. I know you have the power to change my life and can turn me into a winner. Thank You, God for getting my attention long enough to interest me in trying it your way. God, please take over the management of my life and everything about me.”
While still theistic, this version uses more conversational language and acknowledges personal responsibility more directly.
Secular/Humanist Alternative
For those working recovery without God, AA Agnostica and similar resources offer practical versions that focus on personal commitment:
“I commit myself to a set of principles for my ongoing sobriety and my growth. I am now open to accepting whatever life brings me, as I know that through living by AA’s principles of love, tolerance, service, and sobriety, every day is a chance to do and be better for myself and towards others.”
This version removes divine language while preserving the core commitment to transformation and service. It emphasizes the deliberate action of committing to principles rather than turning will over to a deity.
Buddhist-Inspired Version
Drawing from Buddhist philosophy and mindfulness practices, some people prefer:
“I cannot do this on my own. When I accept support and guidance, I can get through life’s difficulties and be a living example of loving kindness through my words and actions.”
This stripped-down version focuses on interconnection, community support, and the practice of meditation and mindfulness that many find helpful in recovery.
Agnostic Version from AA Agnostica
“Made a commitment to turn our will and our lives over to working the Program one day at a time.”
This practical reframing shifts focus from an external power to the proven program of recovery itself as the guiding force.
Alternative Focusing on Release
“Dear Universe, Release me from judgment, self-will, self-concern, and self-criticism. Allow truth and wisdom in all moments of living, revealing the sunlit path, my acceptance as a channel. Grant all who I touch in this way of living the peace and warmth of the sunlight.”
This version, shared among different sources, emphasizes release from the single defect of character that plagues many: self-centeredness.
Personal Responsibility Version
“I offer myself to recovery, to build a new life based on spiritual principles. Relieve me of self-obsession, that I may better serve others. Transform my difficulties into opportunities, that my recovery may inspire those I would help. May I live by these principles always.”
This maintains the structure of the original while shifting language from “God’s will” to “spiritual principles” and recovery itself.
Creating Your Own Third Step Prayer
The Big Book actually encourages personalization. Right after presenting the prayer, it states: “The wording was, of course, quite optional so long as we expressed the idea, voicing it without reservation.”
Here’s how to create your own version:
Identify What Resonates
Review the alternatives above and note which phrases or concepts speak to you. You might appreciate “release from the bondage of self” but want to change “Thy will” to something else.
Consider Your Higher Power
Your higher power might be:
- The collective wisdom of the program
- Natural principles of cause and effect
- The spiritual energy of recovery communities
- Universal love or compassion
- Your ideal self or highest potential
- The proven steps of recovery themselves
Use language that honestly reflects your understanding, not what you think you “should” believe.
Focus on Key Elements
Your version should address:
- What you’re releasing (usually self-will, ego, or your own power over your life)
- What you’re embracing (principles, community, service, growth)
- Your commitment to the hard things of recovery
- Your desire to help others as a result of these steps
- Your willingness to follow a new way
Write in Your Own Words
Don’t worry about sounding poetic or religious. Morning meeting shares are often most powerful when authentic, not polished. Your third step prayer should sound like you, whether that’s conversational, formal, poetic, or straightforward.
Test and Revise
Say your version out loud. Does it feel right? Does it capture your genuine commitment to recovery? Share it with your sponsor or a trusted friend in the program. Revise as needed. Remember, this isn’t set in stone; it can evolve as you do.
Working Step Three Without Prayer
Some people approach Step Three through actions rather than words:
Write a Contract: Create a written commitment to recovery principles, outlining what you’re leaving behind and what you’re committing to. Share this with your sponsor or at a meeting.
Meditation Practice: Use the practice of meditation to quiet the demands of ego and self-will, opening yourself to broader awareness and wisdom.
Service Work: Demonstrate your commitment by immediately engaging in service, making coffee, greeting newcomers, or sharing your story at anonymous meetings.
Daily Affirmations: Instead of a single prayer, use daily affirmations that remind you of your commitment to positive attitudes and recovery principles.
Journaling: Write about your need for recovery, your recognition that your old ways weren’t working, and your openness to a new approach.
Common Concerns About Alternative Prayers
“Am I Doing It Wrong?”
The steps are suggestions, not commandments. If your alternative prayer genuinely represents your commitment to recovery and helps you move beyond self-centeredness, you’re doing it right. The test is in the results. Does it lead you toward sobriety, honesty, and service?
“Will My Sponsor Accept This?”
Most experienced sponsors understand that the program must work for each individual. If your sponsor insists on traditional language despite your concerns, you might need to find someone more compatible. A good sponsor cares about your spiritual awakening more than your specific words.
“What About My Home Group?”
You can say different prayers privately while participating in group prayers at meetings. Many people stay silent during the Lord’s Prayer or Serenity Prayer, or substitute their own words quietly. What matters is your personal inventory and commitment, not public conformity.
“Does This Mean I’m Not ‘Really’ in AA?”
Absolutely not. AA’s Third Tradition states that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Your interpretation of the spiritual principles doesn’t determine your membership or the validity of your recovery.
Moving Forward with Your Alternative
Once you’ve found or created your alternative third step prayer:
Use It Daily: Many people say their version each morning, setting their intention for the day. This deliberate action reinforces your commitment to recovery over your own destructive patterns.
Pair it with the Fourth Step: Step Three leads directly into the fearless moral inventory of Step Four. Your third step prayer, in whatever form, should prepare you for that honest self-examination.
Revisit Regularly: As you work through the seventh step prayer and other parts of the program, you may find your understanding deepening. Your prayer can evolve with you.
Share Your Experience: When appropriate, share your alternative prayer with others who might be struggling. Your journey might open doors for someone else seeking their own path through the exact nature of our wrongs and toward healing.
Stay Connected: Whether through AA Agnostica resources, secular recovery meetings, or supportive individuals like Arlys G. and others who’ve written about alternative approaches, remember you’re not alone in seeking different paths.
The Heart of the Matter
The third step represents a turning point. The moment you commit to a new way of living beyond addiction. Whether you use traditional language, create your own words, or approach it through action rather than prayer, what matters is the depth of your commitment.
Recovery isn’t about saying the right thing. It’s about doing the right thing, day after day, in all your affairs today and tomorrow. It’s about moving from the isolation and self-destruction of active addiction into conscious contact with life, with others, and with principles that support growth and healing.
Your personal relationship with recovery is, by definition, personal. The key to the willingness you bring to Step Three matters far more than the specific words you use. When you genuinely commit to releasing self-will and embracing the wisdom of recovery, transformation becomes possible.
As you navigate the steps of recovery, remember that the entire life you’re rebuilding is yours to shape. Use language that honors your truth, reflects your beliefs, and supports your commitment to sobriety. The result of these steps, freedom from the bondage of self, connection with others, and a life of purpose and meaning, awaits you regardless of which words you use to get there.
Whether you’re working through this step for the first time or revisiting it with fresh eyes after years in recovery, know that your sincere effort and open mind are what truly matter. The program works through honest commitment and consistent action, not through perfect adherence to specific language written decades ago.
Your recovery is valid. Your prayer is valid. Your path is valid. Take what works, leave what doesn’t, and keep moving forward one day at a time.
Note: The alternatives presented here come from various recovery communities, including AA Agnostica, secular recovery groups, and individuals sharing their experience in the need of recovery. Always consult with your health care provider regarding alcohol addiction treatment and recovery planning.